<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" version="2.0"><channel><title><![CDATA[J. A. Shirley Consult and Coaching Ltd.]]></title><description><![CDATA[Behavior coach for parents specializing in explosive, challenging & complex behavior - especially boys. Parenting support. Emotional regulation. ]]></description><link>https://www.kidbuilderz.com/newsletter</link><generator>RSS for Node</generator><lastBuildDate>Wed, 29 Jul 2026 23:45:49 GMT</lastBuildDate><atom:link href="https://www.kidbuilderz.com/blog-feed.xml" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml"/><item><title><![CDATA[NU #42 - The Skill Nobody Teaches Kids: How To Actually Set A Goal. ]]></title><description><![CDATA[I ask my clients this question all the time: "What's your goal this season?" or "What are you working toward this term?" "What do you hope to gain from working with me?" The answer is almost always the same. Vague. Off the cuff. Meaningless. "To get better." "To win." "To get better grades." Or, they default to a sport-based skill.  "To get faster." To shoot the puck harder." These are not goals. They are wishes or desires.  Here's something most parents don't realize: goal setting is a...]]></description><link>https://www.kidbuilderz.com/post/nu-42-the-skill-nobody-teaches-kids-how-to-actually-set-a-goal</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a58eddd6365eb810121fe74</guid><pubDate>Sat, 20 Jun 2026 14:21:54 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/11062b_5ced0dccaaf742f885a9d186d3be8c5e~mv2.jpeg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Jen Shirley</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[NU #41 - The May Rewind (Something A Little Different From Me) ]]></title><description><![CDATA[The May &#38; early June rewind...
Crunch time. 
What I'm Building. 
Ireland. 
What's Next in Summer 2026. ]]></description><link>https://www.kidbuilderz.com/post/nu-41-the-may-rewind-something-a-little-different-from-me</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a58eddd6365eb810121fe5f</guid><pubDate>Wed, 10 Jun 2026 18:12:36 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/98c28b_ddc9f0038b434da5aafea44afbbc75b4~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Jen Shirley</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[NU #40 - When Conflict Happens: Restore. Repair. Reset. ]]></title><description><![CDATA[When conflict arises... what to do? ]]></description><link>https://www.kidbuilderz.com/post/nu-40-when-conflict-happens-restore-repair-reset</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a58eddd6365eb810121fe6a</guid><pubDate>Thu, 14 May 2026 14:20:45 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/98c28b_58a85eb9eef542f2b0a5b94485672048~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Jen Shirley</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[NU #39 - Being Angry vs. Being Frustrated: Not All Kids Understand The Difference. ]]></title><description><![CDATA[If you spend time around children (or teenagers), you might hear them say: "I'm so mad right now!"  ( or if you have a teenager: "I'm so p#$$ed!")  But many times, what kids are actually feeling isn’t anger at all — it’s frustration . And we (the grown-ups) assume that kids have a clear understanding of these differences already on board. This is a common misconception that I see frequently. Helping children understand the difference between these two emotions is incredibly important. When...]]></description><link>https://www.kidbuilderz.com/post/nu-39-being-angry-vs-being-frustrated-not-all-kids-understand-the-difference</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a58eddd6365eb810121fe63</guid><pubDate>Wed, 18 Mar 2026 19:01:17 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/98c28b_e2a21c12decb4cd9b25c1336b2be067a~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Jen Shirley</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[ NU #38 - Blood Sugar, Cortisol &#38; Dopamine: The Hidden Trio Behind Your Child’s Big Emotions]]></title><description><![CDATA[If your child has anxiety, a learning disability or ADHD, you’ve probably seen how their mood and focus can swing wildly throughout the day. One minute they’re happy and calm, the next they’re melting down, bouncing off the walls, or totally checked out. I work on this intentionally with most of my clients. Why is this happening with our kids? Behind the scenes, three key systems ( or hormones) are playing tug-of-war: blood sugar/ glucose, cortisol, and dopamine.  When they’re out of balance,...]]></description><link>https://www.kidbuilderz.com/post/nu-38-blood-sugar-cortisol-dopamine-the-hidden-trio-behind-your-child-s-big-emotions</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a58eddd6365eb810121fe83</guid><pubDate>Sun, 09 Nov 2025 14:30:30 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/98c28b_0ad48969d1a9444ebbbb84f3e5277090~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Jen Shirley</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[NU # 37 - Real Talk @ June Chaos ]]></title><description><![CDATA[Let me be real with you…
Parents &#38; educators are often caught off guard by the chaos that the month of June can sometimes bring to daily life.  You forget how it feels until you're right back in it.
Why is that?  
Let me explain…  ]]></description><link>https://www.kidbuilderz.com/post/nu-37-real-talk-june-chaos</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a58eddd6365eb810121fe7d</guid><pubDate>Thu, 12 Jun 2025 14:26:57 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/98c28b_ca4c14b583b94a3cac1b897d0680e62b~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Jen Shirley</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[NU# 036 - Why Are Some Kids Untruthful?  ]]></title><description><![CDATA[Why sometimes do our, some of our kids lie? There are a couple of key things here to consider. I've spent lots of time coaching kids and...]]></description><link>https://www.kidbuilderz.com/post/nu-26-why-are-some-kids-untruthful</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a58eddd6365eb810121fe88</guid><pubDate>Sun, 12 Jan 2025 15:21:45 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/11062b_865dbdbb2b11410a85b564d949e50508~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Jen Shirley</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[NU #035 - Client Profile: Grade 7 Student]]></title><description><![CDATA[I’m hoping that by sharing Matthew’s story in this format, that I can bring you hope and peace of mind that things can improve. It’s well wi]]></description><link>https://www.kidbuilderz.com/post/nu-035-client-profile-grade-7-student</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a58eddd6365eb810121fe67</guid><pubDate>Tue, 10 Sep 2024 15:54:27 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/11062b_bb7e17c3d0eb4b27bf4b8546bd7b8b87~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Jen Shirley</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[NU #034 - The Solution Cycle for Big Behaviors]]></title><description><![CDATA[I've been lucky enough to participate in thousands of conversations with kids and sometimes, I need to become the student - not them. ...]]></description><link>https://www.kidbuilderz.com/post/nu-034-the-solution-cycle-for-big-behaviors</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a58eddd6365eb810121fe7c</guid><pubDate>Mon, 05 Aug 2024 18:09:20 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/98c28b_e874202f45f6485b960b40550ba7bd19~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Jen Shirley</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[NU #033 - Our Kids &#38; Their Inability to Accept "No" For An Answer. ]]></title><description><![CDATA[I struggled immensely when selecting a title for this article. The other option was “Parents And Their Inability To Say “No" To Their...]]></description><link>https://www.kidbuilderz.com/post/nu-033-our-kids-their-inability-to-accept-no-for-an-answer</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a58eddd6365eb810121fe62</guid><pubDate>Wed, 06 Dec 2023 15:26:29 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/98c28b_1c0bb7da41cb44ddb8558a927e9cef6e~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_485,h_330,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Jen Shirley</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[NU #032 - 12 Compelling Reasons to Protect Kids From "Adult" Conversations. ]]></title><description><![CDATA[Privacy, timing &#38; location for emotional, difficult, or complex adult conversations are incredibly important - especially when young ears...]]></description><link>https://www.kidbuilderz.com/post/nu-032-12-compelling-reasons-to-protect-kids-from-adult-conversations</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a58eddd6365eb810121fe69</guid><pubDate>Fri, 27 Oct 2023 12:00:21 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/98c28b_e79da594e1794eeaab72332bed909cdb~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Jen Shirley</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[NU #031 - Our ADHD Kids and The Tough Parent Moments]]></title><description><![CDATA[I came across this recent article by Forbes and it definitely inspired the topic of today's newsletter.  I wanted to capture the stark...]]></description><link>https://www.kidbuilderz.com/post/nu-031-our-adhd-kids-and-the-tough-parent-moments</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a58eddd6365eb810121fe6e</guid><pubDate>Thu, 14 Sep 2023 08:34:02 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/98c28b_6b63856fead341f6b6bb6ae7197cfab3~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Jen Shirley</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[NU #030 - Misunderstood: The Debate About Cursive Writing. ]]></title><description><![CDATA[Cursive writing is making a splashy comeback into mandatory classroom instruction here in Ontario. Grade 3 students will experience this...]]></description><link>https://www.kidbuilderz.com/post/nu-030-misunderstood-the-debate-about-cursive-writing</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a58eddd6365eb810121fe75</guid><pubDate>Tue, 22 Aug 2023 12:19:44 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/98c28b_d911d3b961e94a56b34917e94436bcb8~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Jen Shirley</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[NU # 029 - Executive Function &#38; Why It Matter So Much...]]></title><description><![CDATA[If you work with people or supervise employees, it would be helpful for you to have a general understanding of Executive Function &#38; why...]]></description><link>https://www.kidbuilderz.com/post/nu-029-executive-function-why-it-matter-so-much</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a58eddd6365eb810121fe6f</guid><pubDate>Wed, 02 Aug 2023 11:49:27 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/98c28b_a4c063a063474086b789f6b74a673a95~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_330,h_302,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Jen Shirley</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[NU #028 -  The Building Blocks of Learning &#38; Why They Matter Now More Than Ever ]]></title><description><![CDATA[The number of kids who struggle with learning difficulties continues to climb &#38; more families are finding themselves at a loss with what...]]></description><link>https://www.kidbuilderz.com/post/nu-028-the-building-blocks-of-learning-why-they-matter-now-more-than-ever</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a58eddd6365eb810121fe81</guid><pubDate>Mon, 12 Jun 2023 16:16:54 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/275d76c6b9d14e1ea9d45666d7f26b6d.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Jen Shirley</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[NU #027 - The Optimalist Podcast Episode with Sara Candela: ]]></title><description><![CDATA[Topic: Self regulation &#38; Healing Our Disconnection Please consider listening in on this insightful conversation between Sara Candela and...]]></description><link>https://www.kidbuilderz.com/post/nu-027-the-optimalist-podcast-episode-with-sara-candela</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a58eddd6365eb810121fe70</guid><pubDate>Wed, 17 May 2023 22:07:43 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="http://video.wixstatic.com/video/98c28b_d1ee59fbac1a412a935f5e81b2561f41/720p/mp4/file.mp4" length="0" type="video"/><dc:creator>Jen Shirley</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[N.U. #26 - 4 Ways to Foster Student Growth By Teaching Them How To Root for Others ]]></title><description><![CDATA[For some kids, they have a zero-sum mindset. In these instances, someone else has “to lose” for them “to win”. This type of thinking is...]]></description><link>https://www.kidbuilderz.com/post/4-ways-to-foster-student-growth-by-teaching-them-how-to-root-for-others</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a58eddd6365eb810121fe60</guid><pubDate>Mon, 15 May 2023 16:04:42 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/11062b_3be15bce63d84f98bc73f7a737424808~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Jen Shirley</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[NU #025 - 4 Tips To Connect With Unresponsive Parents]]></title><description><![CDATA[The vast majority of parents love their kids &#38; would do everything they can to help them. Some may have a misguided way of showing it....]]></description><link>https://www.kidbuilderz.com/post/nu-025-4-tips-to-connect-with-unresponsive-parents</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a58eddd6365eb810121fe7e</guid><pubDate>Mon, 17 Apr 2023 12:51:43 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/a125200603ebdc3b45c85cbe72a4deea.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_919,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Jen Shirley</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[NU #024 - The 6 Un-Ignorable Reasons Why Boys Struggle in School. ]]></title><description><![CDATA[This one’s for the boys. If you have a son, you may be like thousands of other parents on the planet - you’re frustrated too as to why...]]></description><link>https://www.kidbuilderz.com/post/nu-024-the-6-un-ignorable-reasons-why-boys-struggle-in-school</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a58eddd6365eb810121fe78</guid><pubDate>Thu, 23 Mar 2023 16:58:15 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/11062b_30d9185934a44f3cb92b4bfe27923c69~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Jen Shirley</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[NU #023 - The Top 4 Cognitive Costs due to Our Lack of Focus &#38; Attention. ]]></title><description><![CDATA[Free Giveaway Alert Are you interested in high value learning at zero $$ cost? I'll be giving away this digital product to a select...]]></description><link>https://www.kidbuilderz.com/post/nu-023-the-top-4-cognitive-costs-due-to-our-lack-of-focus-attention</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a58eddd6365eb810121fe6d</guid><pubDate>Tue, 14 Mar 2023 14:50:18 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/98c28b_13298c3137ce48febaef6093a1ac3193~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_354,h_198,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Jen Shirley</dc:creator></item></channel></rss>